Everyone and Everyone
by Raven Black and Jinks Loather
Summary: A series of one shots attempting to pair every character in the Harry Potter series, including ghosts, teachers, and magical creatures. Some are cheesy, some are sweet, and some are absolutely stupid. Rated T just to be safe. R&R! Third Pairing: Harry and the Basilisk
1. Ernie and Hannah

**Everyone and Everyone**

**So here's the deal. One day the three of us (Jinks, Raven, and sister) were jokingly talking about all of our Harry Potter shippings. I started thinking how it would HILARIOUS if we were to attempt pairing nearly every character with every other character (characters only being shipped with others who would be interesting). I have some rules about this though. One, no incest, no matter what. Two, they have to have some sort of connection or interaction (there are exceptions though, as you'll see). And thirdly, in order for some shippings to happen, I believe that some people have to be completely out of character in order for the pairing to ever work. And lastly, they are all one shots. So, keeping that in mind, we go to our first shipping of…**

**Hannah Abbot and Ernie McMillan **

Hannah stood in the crowd of other first years, nervously waiting for her name to be called. What house would she get? What if no one liked her? She hoped she didn't get Slytherin, everyone said it was a bad house. Not surprisingly, her name was called first.

Taking a breath, she walked up the steps and shoved the Sorting Hat onto her head. For a moment it sat there when there was suddenly a loud cry. "HUFFLEPUFF!"

Relaxed, Hannah took the hat off and made her way over to the table that was cheering. The crowd began to thin as more and more first years were sorted, including the famous Harry Potter, who went to Gryffindor.

"Hi!" said the boy next to her. She turned to see a wide-eyed, blonde haired boy sitting next to her and smiling. Hannah felt herself blush. "My name's Ernie! What's yours?"

"H-H-Hannah," she replied, smiling back. "Isn't it great to be here in this school? Everyone says Hogwarts is the best magic school ever!"

"Yeah it is!" Ernie replied. "And going to school with the Great Harry Potter? How cool is that?"

It turned out to be pretty cool. The two of them became great friends, working and studying together. Hannah didn't know what she would have done without Ernie. They also befriended a dark haired boy named Justin, also a first year. They went to every class together, though Hannah was always a bit reluctant went the conversation turned to Harry Potter.

Hannah thought Ernie was so smart by the second year. How he was able to deduce who the Heir of Slytherin was. She thought he was so brave to stand up to Harry and thinking of their friend Justin.

"Harry always seemed so nice," she sighed as they sat in the library. "And he was the one who defeated You-Know-Who."

"No one knows how he defeated You-Know-Who that night," Ernie said, matter-of-factly. "He probably didn't want another dark wizard competing with him or something."

"Wow, you're so smart," Hannah told him blushing.

Ernie smiled at her, leaning closer so no one else would hear. "Don't worry, Hannah, that monster of Slytherin won't hurt you. I wouldn't let anyone touch you."

"And I'd do the same for you," Hannah replied, her heart giving another leap in the air, as she looked at Ernie's blinding smile.

**Yeah, pretty cheesy, I know. But they're pretty minor characters so I didn't want to dwell on them too much. Some of these are going to be sweet, some are cheesy (like this one) and some are just going to be down-right ridiculous. Remember to read and review and tell us which two characters you're dying to see paired together!**


	2. Flitwick and Sprout

**A/N: WE OWN NOTHING, as I'm sure you know.**

**Raven here this time! Here's my first chapter. I hope that it can live up to my lovely partner's work!**

**Without further ado, it's _Flitwick and Sprout!_**

* * *

The Whomping Willow wasn't exactly the best venue for lovers, but, then, it's likely that stranger places have been frequented by those with the tell-tale stars in their eyes.

What was more unlikely was that the tree would manage to spark a romance.

In its day, the tree had seen its share of damage, from being beaten by reckless students to attempting to beat those reckless students in turn. It was generally able to recover well enough by itself, it being a semi-sentient plant.

However, one fateful day in early autumn, it was clear enough to everyone that the tree would need to be nursed back to health. It had been run into by an unsightly blue flying machine—a 'car', as muggles called them, for reasons beyond the comprehension of the average witch or wizard. Several of the branches were broken off entirely, and the tree was clearly in a great deal of pain (judging by its particularly violent treatment of any creature that had the misfortune of straying within fifty feet).

Thus, Professors Flitwick and Sprout were appointed the respective tasks of physically repairing and keeping the tree sedated during its recovery period, much the way one would have to do to a young child or animal that ran the risk of harming itself more than the injury had.

The entire staff, during that time, was beginning to feel the unfortunate effect of Gilderoy Lockheart's gilded nature, and, so, it was a welcome break for both professors to practise their art and talk to a much more genuine person. Neither was the sort for bluster or extravagance; both were soft-spoken but excitable with relation to their field. Each day they found themselves coming closer, emotionally as well as physically.

By the time they were practically standing on each other's toes, the Willow was repaired, and it was time for them to return to their normal duties as professor and tolerater of various classroom antics. Once a few months had passed them by, it seemed that, with all of the grading and treating the greenhouses and so on, there would never be any time for the professors to meet with each other again. Especially with the great fear that had begun spreading about the castle, the fear of the 'Heir of Slytherin' that had been struck into the school at large.

It was a surprise, therefore, when Flitwick came into his classroom early one morning to cast a few cleaning spells (for the aftermath of a particularly explosive failed charm the previous evening) and found a delicately closed lotus near to his desk. Before he could touch it, the thing opened, and revealed a handwritten note inside.

_Think we could arrange another injury for the Whomping Willow?_

_PS_

Later that day, nearly every class asked Flitwick if he was under the influence of a particularly potent cheering charm.

* * *

**A/N: CHEESE!**

**Hopefully I'll have something a bit more solid for you next time; this was rather a vague idea.**

**Please Read and Review! =)**


	3. Harry and the Basilisk

**Everyone and Everyone**

**So, I just want you all to know, we have a code for these stories and their silliness/how long they are. See, the shippings that are realistic and could actually happen are probably going to be the shortest and sweetest. The ones that couldn't happen even in a million years, unless one or both of the characters were completely out of character are the ones that are the stupidest and possibly longest. We've had two could actually happen shippings, now let's try some that could never happen, like…**

**Harry Potter and the Basilisk**

Harry Potter was weary when Dobby told him to stay away from Hogwarts that year. But how could he? Hogwarts was the greatest thing that had ever happened to him. All of his friends were there, and his favorite teachers as well. As Ron said, maybe Dobby was sent by someone who hated Harry and wanted to keep him away from Hogwarts. But that idea was stricken from their minds when this so-called "Heir of Slytherin" struck the school with his terrifying monster.

What could this monster possibly be? No one knew. And then people were attacked. Everyone from students, a ghost whom no one took seriously with his head unhinged (ha! Ha!), and the two hundred year old cat, Mrs. Norris (who in a previous year had a scandalous affair with the equally as old Argus Filtch), and more (but not really).

But then Hermione figured it out before being conveniently attacked, sending Harry and Ron on a completely convoluted and unnecessary journey through the Forbidden Forest that didn't have to happen if they had just glanced at her hand and saw the paper that was clutched in her fist. But they eventually got to that part. And suddenly it all made sense.

Something stirred inside Harry as he read the paper about the Basilisk. He didn't know why, but there was something about the monster that made Harry feel for it. Whoever the Heir of Slytherin was, he knew that he must have been pure evil to force this great beast to do his bidding. Maybe the basilisk just wanted to live its life peacefully in its home in the Chamber of Secrets. But the Heir was making it attack helpless students and various other creatures. Maybe Harry was destined to save it.

The snake was as beautiful as he had imagined. Harry wanted to stare into its yellow gaze all day long, but knew that he couldn't if he wanted to live. And he had to live to save the Basilisk from the evil Tom Riddle. From the shadows, he could see Fawkes blind it and he could gaze on its beauty once more.

"Give it up, Potter," Riddle sneered. "This big brute only obeys me."

"He's not a big brute," Harry snarled to himself. "He's misunderstood."

"Whatever," Riddle scoffed. "It still only obeys me."

"We'll see about that," Harry growled, leaping onto the statue of Slytherin and grabbing the sword that had conveniently popped out of the Sorting Hat. Did he really have to kill his one true love? Was this really the only way? But Harry knew that the only way the Basilisk could be free, to be rid of Riddle once and for all was to slay it. And that's what Harry did. He looked away as he jabbed his sword through the snake's mouth so he wouldn't have to see the thing's tormented eyes. He tried to block out its screams of pain, but it was no use. Anger boiled in Harry's blood. Why did Riddle have to force them to this? He just knew that Riddle had to pay, once and for all.

As Riddle taunted him about how he would kill Harry himself in a proper duel (which, in retrospect was not very proper, considering there was only one wand between them), Harry seized the diary from Ginny's cold hands.

"This is for the basilisk!" Harry cried. And he plunged the snake fang into the diary, effectively destroying Riddle in awesome visual effects and avenging his (albeit creepy) one true love.

And just like that, the school was saved. But for Harry, there was a special triumph. Now his basilisk could rest in peace in the Chamber of Secrets, never to be disturbed ever again. Harry had left part of his robe down there with his precious, to make sure that it would never be alone. Yes, Harry would find other love, but he would never forget his sweet basilisk.

**And that's the end of that. This is slightly shorter than I wanted it to because I wanted to add a new chapter. The basilisk is going to be shipped with many more characters (like Fawkes, Tom Riddle, and Aarogog.) And we're going to attempt to ship Harry with literally everyone! Yay! Remember, read the chapter and tell me what you think because I want to know how we're doing. Also, my sister will be writing some chapters as well, but I'm not telling which.**


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